Moving On And Forward

I've read countless blogs lately on hormones being jacked up and I am right there with you all...well, I was. I am much better now. Jillian Michaels book came along at the PERFECT time...
It is seriously a MUST READ.

Needless to say my whole diet has changed and I am feeling much better and definitely more balanced. There for awhile I didn't know if I wanted to kill an animal or punch a baby...it was bad. It didn't help that I had/have TONS of emotional stuff going on, but comp dieting did not help one bit. My body/mind seriously cannot take it and quite frankly I don't want it anymore. My first comp was awesome, I loved the whole process...it was exciting and new. Now that the newness has worn off, it's definitely NOT for me. Unlike Tina who LOVES the process, I HATE the process...seriously hate it. For me it sucks the fun out of life(and I have enough lifefunsuckers thankyouverymuch) and is physically, emotionally, and financially draining. I feel like I'm back in high school trying to be a cheerleader or something. Well, that definitely wasn't me then, and this figure thing definitely isn't me now. I just no longer see the point or have the desire...and when that happens, it's time to move on.

I'm moving on in just about every area of my life right now and while it's scary, I see the light at the end of the tunnel and feel peace. Tina was right about one thing though, all this competing meant something, it wasn't all for nothing. For me, it gave me something else to focus on when I really needed it. Now, it's time to focus on other stuff, stuff that's been a long time coming, stuff that's been holding me back.

I wasn't ready for it then, but I am now.

Bring it.

My workouts as of late have been all over the place. After the Arnold I didn't set foot in the gym for a whole month. I seriously just wanted nothing to do with it at all. It's been like that after all three comps I've done, not just this last one. I just go with it, knowing the desire will come back and it does, it has. Trying some new sets and exercises in the weight room and running some. Bob's is great as always and he will tell you I suck worse then I ever have and he is right. It was just him and I this morning going over different combo's and as he calls it, "ninja shit". Love the ninja shit, even though I look like a drunken one. If you watch Bob, he is smooooooth and makes it look effortless. He sucks rocks.

I wanna rock.

It's coming :)